new muslim
My name is Jamilah Atencia, born Christian and a 5 month old muslim. I wasn’t a very religious person. Just merely believing in one God and never go to church unless someone asked me to come. Rarely I shoul...d say. Looking back through my whole life, I will say I have been through a lot. Some wont believe such story. I will not elaborate further for I might be out of the main topic again. In short, my life was rough, full of confusion, full of hatred and full of carelessness. The past made me a very selfish person, strong willed, unafraid and love is just a thing I can forget about.
When my mother died, I felt one wing was cut from me. I was soaring high and felt I was falling. Took me years to accept she is gone.
I decided to resign at my job and work abroad. I spent 2 years in a muslim country where I witnessed how the other religion goes. How people dress, interact and behave. I had a lot of muslim friends. I started to respect Islam more, still with few misconceptions but yet, I gained a few knowledge about it.
I resigned my job and returned home hoping for to find a better job. But things became complicated for me. Love conflicts and financial problems arised. I faced them all alone with the help of someone from afar (:D). In few months of solitude, that someone invited me to Islam. At first, I was hesitant. Because it means Im gonna forget everything I believed in. And my entire family will say something about it.
It was mid-august (Ramadan), I decided Im gonna convert. Yes, I fasted secretly even I wasn’t praying. Alhamdulillah I finished the remaining half month fasting successfully. I started to find any means on how to convert. I contacted all the person I know who can help me.
My journey to dershane house was a big blessing in disguise. My previous plan was ruined. And I don’t have many friends in manila to help me. Alhamdulillah I found one. With the help of another friend, I was brought directly to dershane and mashaAllah, I converted there with good teachings and guidance in Islam.
At first, I really don’t like to wear the hijab. I don’t like to cover my hair. It was one of the things that made me hesitant to convert. But they said wearing hijab is my choice. So the first month was the non-hijab days. The time I started thinking of wearing it was because I envy the girls wearing beautiful veils matching their clothes. So I started buying few. At first, it was hard because of the heat, the itchiness and the “not-used-to” feeling of wearing the hijab. Pin pricks at my scalp and fingers (believe me it still happens until now :D ) and the time it consumes just to hide my hair are all part of my hijab struggles. All of that because I chose to obey Allah. It’s all worth it. And I know by wearing a veil, I am pleasing my Creator. I am a proud muslimah and I am a hijabi… Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen…
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