On the Importance of Keeping Conversations Private
Jābir (r) reported that the Prophet ﷺ said, "All discussions are to be considered as a sacred trust (amānah), except if it involves shedding blood, or fornication, or theft" (Reported by Abū Dawūd).
This is an important yet oft-neglected principle of our faith. The *default* when it comes to all conversations or correspondence is that one should not discuss anything without the permission of the one who spoke. In contrast to this, Western culture sometimes assumes that only those conversations in which you are sworn to secrecy are private; otherwise they assume the default is that it is not private.
However, the etiquettes of our faith assume the exact opposite: if someone comes to you and asks about a very specific matter, or conveys some information, you should assume that it was a private matter meant for your ears only. For example, if someone says he is considering applying for a particular job position, or proposing for marriage to someone, or asks for your advice about a potential business he has in mind, you should assume that this information is confidential and not intended for other people to know. Hence when Umar (r) asked both Abu Bakr (r) and `Uthmān (r) if they were interested in marrying his recently widowed daughter Ḥafsa (ra), they both politely declined because they knew that the Prophet ﷺ had been asking about her, and they didn't inform Umar (r) of that. It was not their place to do so, as any conversations they had were private.
Obviously, if the person says that something is public news, or common sense dictates it (for example, it's not personal information), then one may inform others. If this is not the case, then spreading such information means you have betrayed the trust that Allah obliged you to maintain. The sin is even more compounded when one has been asked to maintain privacy and yet still breaks that trust; but it must be said clearly (again!) that our religion doesn't require this condition to be explicitly made in the first place, as it is the default.
There is one exception: when the conversation entails an offense or sin against someone else. So, if someone confides in you a plot to kidnap, or kill, or harm, or rape, or steal from someone else, there is no sacred trust, and you are in fact obliged to take adequate measures to ensure that such a plot does not occur, which means telling the authorities or appropriate people of that conversation.
Of the signs of piety is to protect one's trusts (amānah); hence the pious do not break their trusts and spill private conversations and correspondences to others.
May Allah make us of the pious!
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