Sadness

ILoveAllaah.com

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"Sadness is from shaytan."
"A believer should never get sad."
"Sadness is a sign of low iman."

I cannot tell you how much toxic statements like these ones, hurt and shame people when they are suffering from depression. It's a lot like seeing a person who's barely treading water, and throwing a brick in their face to "help".

Well, it doesn't.

But here is what I have learned about sadness and depression. And here is what I believe the religious community is doing tragically wrong in this department:

There is an absolutely *crucial* difference between sadness (a normal human emotion) and hopelessness/despair (which is debilitating).

A believer *does* get sad sometimes. Even Prophets felt sadness. Prophet Yaqoob (AS) cried until he went blind and complained of his *sadness* to Allah. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) experienced the year of sadness when he lost his beloved wife and uncle.

Sadness is part of being human and living a human experience. Iman (faith) is not an antidote against being human. Iman won't protect you from some times of sadness. But iman *will* give you tools to fight despair and hopelessness. A believer in pain acknowledges his/her grief (as Prophet Ayoub AS did). Resilience is not about denial or numbing emotion. But a believer even in pain never loses hope. No matter how dark it is right now. *That* is the power of iman. Prophet Ayoub's (AS) duaa begins with an acknowledgement of his pain. He's not pretending or numbing. But it ends with unshaken hope in God's mercy (see Quran 21:83).

It is so crucial to understand the difference between sadness and despair. Until we do, we will continue to cause so much damage in those already suffering and vulnerable.

My people, we need to give hope, not shame. Empathy, not judgement. We don't need someone to tell us it isn't really night right now, or blame us for the darkness. We only need someone to hold our hand and remind us that the sun will rise again tomorrow. And it does.
It really does.