Breaking Family Ties in Islam

 

The Deen Show

 

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Breaking Family Ties in Islam

When I look around me, I see people breaking-off ties with their close relatives as if nothing matters, siblings (brothers and sisters) not talking to each other for days, weeks, even months at a stretch. I am a mortal and have done the same on more than one occasion. Thankfully for us, Islam comes to the rescue and explains the importance of family ties and brotherhood.

Here are some references from the Qur’an and Sunnah to help everyone understand the importance of family and how breaking ties will affect us in this world and the hereafter.

The following is a collection of interpretation of verses from the Glorious Qur’an:

“The believers are nothing else than brothers. So make reconciliation between your brothers.” (49:10)

“… and fear Allah(God) through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of ) the wombs (kinship)…” (4:1)

Fear Allah(God) and reconcile the bonds that have been broken between you. Quran 8:1:

“And those who break the Covenant of God Almighty, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah(God) has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).” (13:26)

“Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.” (47:22-23)

A lot of ahadith explain the importance of family and the implications of severing ties with your relatives:

The hadith is narrated by Abu Dawud. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

Do you want to know what is far better than charity, praying, and fasting? They said: “What could be better?”

He said: Bringing those ties of kinship.

Shall I not inform you of something more excellent in degree than fasting, prayer and alms giving (sadaqah)?

The people replied: “Yes, Prophet of Allah(God)!”

He said: It is putting things right between people, spoiling them is the shaver (destructive).

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Do not desert (stop talking to) one another, do not nurse hatred towards one another, do not be jealous of one another, and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to stop talking to his brother (Muslim) for more than three days.”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “People’s deeds are presented before Allah on Mondays and Thursdays, and then every slave (of Allah) is granted forgiveness (of minor sins) if he does not associate anything with Allah in worship. But the person in whose heart there is rancour against his brother, will not be pardoned. With regard to them, it is said twice: `Hold these two until they are reconciled’.” [Muslim]

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his (Muslim) brother beyond three days; and whosoever does so for more than three days, and then dies, will certainly enter the Hell.” [Abu Dawud]

Abu Khirash Hadrad bin Abu Hadrad Al-Aslami (May Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying, “Whosoever forsakes his brother for a year is like one who sheds his blood.” (Abu Dawud)

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5645).

“There is no sin more deserving of having punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world, along with what He has for him in the next world, than oppression and severing family ties.” (Tirmizi)

“One Does not enter Paradise he who breaks up his family ties”. (Bukhari)

A YOUNG man went to attend the weekly Hadith lecture of Abu Huraira (R) but stopped when he heard him saying “If anyone sitting here has severed any ties of kinship (qata-ur-rahim), he should leave.”

He recalled that he had not been on speaking terms with his aunt living in the same town. The young man quietly left the gathering and went straight to his aunt’s house and asked for forgiveness for his past behavior and sought rapprochement. When the aunt inquired about the reason for this change of heart, he narrated the incident.

She accepted the apology but asked him to inquire from Abu Huraira the reason for this unusual statement. Why did Abu Huraira leave all the other major sins and focus only on this? What was so special about ties of kinship? Abu Huraira (R) replied that he had heard from the Prophet (peace be upon him) that our deeds were presented to Allah every Thursday night and anyone who has severed family ties has all his good deeds rejected. He did not want any such person sitting in his gathering, which was held on the same night, for fear that it could deprive the entire gathering of blessings. Another Hadith explains further the reason for this fear: “Allah’s mercy will not descend on people among whom there is one who severs ties of kinship.” (Baihaqi, Shuab Al-Iman)

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship” (Bukhari)

This is an eye-opening compilation and should serve as a basis of all our present and future relationships. If you think you know someone who is in the middle of a personal/family feud, please forward this to them and ask them to fix their ties for Allah’s sake.

Thank you and remember me in your prayers

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