Prayer.
It’s hard, I know.
Sometimes you find your self sitting or lying down wanting to pray, but just not doing it.
You go to sleep hoping that you wake up with love for prayer in your heart, but in the morning you can’t find it.
You’re out in town and the time for prayer is ending soon, but you can’t bring yourself to make a scene and mention that you need somewhere to pray. You really want to, but you don’t.
I’m going to be honest with you: the underlying reasons could be deep-rooted, and to really fix the problem in a holistic way may take a tremendous amount of time and effort. Often, it’s a life-long mission.
But just remember one thing. And this one thing, if you understand and internalise it properly, may change everything.
īmān (faith) is not feelings, it’s actions.
Often we say “My īmān is so low today”, or “Alhamdulilah I have high īmān these days.” While the meaning is understood, this type of feeling isn’t really referring to īmān. It’s just referring to our mental or emotional state.
Now why is this so important? Because when you’re sitting around and you want to pray, but you don’t have the “īmān” (feeling), then remember that your īmān is not your feeling, it’s your action, and so close your eyes, say bismillah, and just force yourself to get up. Don’t think, just do. Even if you prayed the whole prayer without much inspiration or awe. You did it. You are now manufacturing your īmān.
Think about it…who’s more beloved to Allah: the one who obeys His commands, even if they don’t feel awe-inspired by them, or the one who sings and dances about how *amazing* Allah is, but doesn’t actually fulfil His commands? No doubt it is the former. And while we *of course* want the best of both worlds, and CAN attain the best of both worlds, right now we are talking about the starting point. Start with īmān - start with action.
As we said, softening the heart and eradicating the internal disease may take a while, and it may require different things depending on your circumstance: you might have to cut out that major sin you are persisting upon; you might have to ditch those rotten friends who are ruining your future; you might need to increase in your knowledge about Allah and His messenger.
Each circumstance is different, but the starting point is always the same: just do it. Force yourself. Allah will love you. Let us remember that Allah knows everything - this includes the inner workings of our mind; this includes how difficult a simple act may be for us; and most importantly, it includes the sincerity of our intention and the magnitude of our struggle. Allah is not counting your raq’at, he is measuring the effort you are exerting and the struggle you are enduring in your attempt to pray those raq’at.
Remember: perfection does not come in a vacuum. We can’t wait until we are overflowing with love for Allah to start praying. First we force ourselves, and we persist, and THAT is how the overflowing love for Allah develops.
I ask Allah to bring you, and I, closer to Him through His most emphasised act and the reason for our existence, the prayer.
